I have an ongoing supermarket fantasy/daydream. I’m grocery shopping (something I do three times a week) when my jam comes on the overhead speakers. Maybe “Day by Day” by the Hooters or “Come On Eileen” by Dexys Midnight Runners. Shop Rite seems to play those two a lot. I’m so overtaken by the music that my shopping has to wait while I dance. Then I spot a friend at the other end of the aisle. She sees me, hears the song, and we both start dancing together!
This is silly, I know, but I hate grocery shopping and need something to keep my brain entertained while I grab apples and peanut butter.
One Sunday, my husband Chris returned from the grocery store and announced, “The funniest thing just happened.”
You can probably guess where this is going.
He continued, “I was in the coffee aisle when ‘Owner of a Lonely Heart’ by Yes came on. When that bass solo kicked in, I started air-bassing right there in the aisle. I was totally jamming out when I noticed John in the same aisle, also air-bassing along. We started laughing so hard we caused a scene.”
“What?” I said, incredulous. He started to repeat himself, but I stopped him.
“I heard what you said. I just can’t believe that happened to you. That’s MY dream! I’ve fantasized about that exact scenario. I’m in that store three times a week, and you go ONE TIME and this happens to you!”
What does any of this have to do with writing? This is supposed to be a journal about writing, after all.
Well, if you’re part of a community of writers—and I really encourage you to be—then the above scenario is bound to happen to you. Not the supermarket thing, but having a dream and watching that same dream come true for someone else.
Perhaps you’ve always wanted to attend the prestigious Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, but your application was denied while your friend was accepted. Maybe you submitted a flash creative nonfiction piece to Hippocampus Magazine—you got rejected, but your friend’s essay got published.
These situations are inevitable when you’re part of a writing community.
At first, hearing about my husband’s impromptu Yes concert, I stomped my foot and thought, “That’s not fair. Why did that happen to him when I’m the one trudging through those aisles constantly?”
But then I made him tell the story again, and I found myself genuinely happy that he’d had this moment of joy and connection. I was glad his mundane grocery run had transformed into something magical.
So when you find yourself in a similar situation with your writing, give yourself permission to pout for a minute. You wanted that acceptance, that publication, that opportunity—and you didn’t get it. Disappointment is completely valid.
But then step back and celebrate your friend’s success. How wonderful that someone in your circle achieved this thing you’ve been dreaming about! If you can’t have this particular dream right now, there couldn’t be a better person to live it out.
The truth is, writing communities thrive on this kind of generous spirit. The friend who gets into Bread Loaf this year might be the one cheering loudest when you land your dream residency next year. The writer whose essay gets published in your target magazine could become the person who recommends your work to an editor. Success in writing isn’t a zero-sum game—there’s room for all of us to dance in the aisles, even if we take turns with the spotlight.
And who knows? Perhaps witnessing someone else live out your dream is the universe’s way of showing you that it’s possible. After all, if it can happen to them, it can happen to you, too. Your song might be next.