This book inc Journal is the third entry in my series, “My Journey to Publication.” To read the previous post about publishing my debut memoir, go here. 

Recently, I attended a ribbon-cutting ceremony for renovations at our local school. At the event, the mayor of our small New Jersey suburban town approached me, congratulated me on publishing my memoir, and said, “We’d like to host an author reading for you at town hall.” I responded with gratitude and, of course, agreed to the author reading, noting that my memoir, Sober Mom, wouldn’t be published until July 2026, so we had plenty of time to plan the event. 

Brand new to book publishing, I’ve been learning about how best to publicize my debut memoir without breaking the bank. Experts recommend reaching out to various organizations, such as your college alumni network or knitting group, and asking for their support. So, having the mayor approach me to say the town would like to host an author reading … well, that’s wonderful and exactly what I’ve been told to do for my book launch.

Great, I thought. And gave myself a pat on the back for arranging one stop on my book tour. Maybe this book marketing wasn’t going to be as hard as I thought.

But then on the way home from the ceremony, it hit me. An author reading … in my town. The town that is 2.19 square miles and has 4,000 residents. The town that Wikipedia describes as a “bedroom community of New York City.” The town where I’m sure to bump into my daughter’s first-grade teacher at the supermarket, my son’s class mom at the bagel place, and the police chief at the bike shop. Are you getting my drift? It’s a small town.  

And my memoir, well, it’s the story of how, at age 38, I imploded my life. How I drank vodka while taking care of my three young children. How my infidelity pushed my marriage to its breaking point. Sure, there’s the redemption story in there. I did get sober and repair my marriage. The memoir does have a happy ending. But it also has some salacious details, even some sex scenes. Did I really want to share these details with my neighbor, whom I see twice a week when I drag the garbage can to the curb?

And then I remembered some advice the acclaimed memoirist Melissa Febos had given me. 

Back in 2018, the writing organization Project Write Now invited Febos to read from her recently published essay collection, Abandon Me, and to answer any questions we might have about her work or writing in general. Before Abandon Me, Febos had laid bare her experience as a professional dominatrix in Whip Smart. 

At the time, I was taking writing classes at Project Write Now and slowly putting together an initial draft of my memoir. And I was starting to think that publishing a book might be a possibility. And it was just starting to occur to me that people would read said book and then know my most embarrassing moments, my most shameful secrets. And well, it gave me pause, and made me question whether I wanted to pursue publishing. 

Knowing that Febos had experience in this department, I raised my hand during the Q&A and asked her how she handled sharing such intimate, raw details. I forget exactly what I said, but it was something along the lines of “I’m concerned about what the PTA moms will think.” Melissa paused for a moment, and then she responded, “Fuck the PTA moms.”

Of course, I laughed, but I also thought, “Yeah, why do I care what they think?” 

Now, seven years later, on the way back from the ribbon-cutting ceremony, I replayed Melissa’s advice in my head. Yup, who cares what they think. My whole reason for writing my memoir is to help remove the stigma surrounding the disease of alcoholism. I know, thanks to the memoirists like Febos who forged the path for me, that someone out there struggling will read my raw and honest story and feel less ashamed, less alone.

I’m so grateful for Febos’s frank response that day, which kept me writing my story. Since then, I’ve been following her career closely and gobbling up any book she has published.

Which is why I’m beyond excited and very nervous to be joining Febos, along with two other Project Write Now writers, in a special virtual event called Friends & Features. 

The brainchild of PWN instructor Court Harler, Friends & Features is designed to bring together established authors with emerging voices in an intimate virtual setting. It’s exactly the kind of community-building event that makes me love being part of Project Write Now.

On October 28 at 7 p.m. ET, I’ll be reading alongside fellow memoirists Shanda McManus, whose debut Brother Epistles explores the intersection of life, race, and medicine, and Lou Storey, a visual artist and retired psychotherapist whose work has appeared in The New Yorker and The New York Times and whose debut novel The Big Bad Blockbuster will be published next year. 

And yes, Melissa Febos herself will be the featured reader, sharing insights from her latest memoir The Dry Season, published this past June.

We’ll each read excerpts from our work, followed by a Q&A and a discussion about craft and the writing life, led by Court Harler, and then some informal virtual mingling afterward. It’s a rare opportunity to share the stage with someone whose work has meant so much to my own writing, while connecting with other writers who understand the particular vulnerability that comes with memoir writing.

I hope you can join us! Register here.