In The Wilderness

My chest heaved, and my calves burned as I trudged up a rocky slope in the Wind River Mountain Range, the wind cool against my skin. I was the “designated leader,” or DL, on a day of hiking during my first semester at Lehigh University. My group of seven hikers followed close behind me. Being the leader was exciting, and I felt confident I was doing a good job, constantly checking if the pace was okay and overexplaining the route.

Peer review was part of this program, and I was excited to see what my companions would say. After a long day of hiking, we gathered around to discuss my skills. Typically, people said things like “I have no comments. You did great.” A few people murmured similar comments about me, and I thanked them. Suddenly, Redfern, the class comedian with long red hair and fair skin, said with a nonchalant shrug, “I just don’t think you have the qualities that make a good leader.”

The air was knocked out of my lungs. What do you mean, I just don’t have the right qualities? When Redfern was further probed by our instructors, he could not identify any exact qualities. He just had a “sense” about me. 

This is what I would call terrible feedback, and only partly because I was extremely offended by this comment. (It was hard not to take it personally.) This was terrible feedback because Redfern provided no tangible way for me to improve based on his criticism. Clearly, this was more a dig at my character than my skills. It hurt my feelings because it was unfounded–and when asked for proof, Redfern couldn’t provide any.

Constructive Criticism In Writing

In my writing, I have received feedback that has really helped me, and feedback that has not helped me in the slightest. Of course, receiving positive feedback from strong writers is always appreciated, because it can help the author see where things are coming together. But feedback with only positive comments isn’t the full picture. What I find most helpful is a mix of constructive feedback and encouragement.

When it comes to giving constructive criticism, the book inc’s Memoir Incubator offers specific guidelines for providing feedback during its Reading Rounds. (Reading Rounds occur in the fall when writers have completed a first draft of their manuscript and are ready to exchange drafts with their podmates for feedback.) The guidelines clearly say to “be mindful and avoid negative remarks,” and remind everyone to convey comments in a “sensitive way.” To follow these guidelines, I think a good ol’ compliment sandwich comes in handy. For example, when giving a hike’s DL feedback, helpful feedback could consist of:

Bread (positive): You consistently asked us how the pace was while hiking, which was helpful!

Peanut Butter & Jelly (what you are trying to get at because it’s the most important part): In the future, it would be appreciated if you could let us know when we are approaching an elevation gain, so we can prepare.

Bread (positive): Other than that, you were a confident leader, and I felt safe hiking with your group!

In writing, this could include the following:

Bread (positive): I think that this memory is a really strong part of your essay and is important to what you are trying to get across here.

Peanut Butter & Jelly (what you are trying to get at because it’s the most important part): I think it could be beneficial to use more sensory details so that the reader can stay here a beat longer and soak up the moment …

Bread (positive): so that it comes together as a key point in your story! Can’t wait to hear more about this experience!

Even harsher edits can be utilized in the complement sandwich:

Bread (positive): This memory is really interesting and includes many details that draw the reader in.

Peanut Butter & Jelly (what you are trying to get at because it’s the most important part): I think the timeline of this paragraph may confuse the reader because it jumps around in time. It could be helpful to rearrange this section chronologically, or if not, to include more details about the time and place so the reader can follow along!

Bread (positive): All in all, these are great memories and I think they really add to the essay! Great stuff!

It is important to remember that these edits are what you think, not an absolute fact. The Incubator’s Reading Round guidelines state that you should make it “clear they are not recommendations, but just possibilities” that the writer can take into consideration. But know that if your reader took the time to point these things out, it stuck out to them, and it may be worth playing around with!

There is a reason they call it constructive criticism. It is criticism that is helpful instead of just critical! It is crucial that constructive criticism includes suggestions for how to improve the piece, and not just negative notes. 

Later this year, I will receive strength-based feedback from my Memoir Incubator podmates. I am excited to have others who understand this concept read my work. If you don’t have a supportive writing community, I encourage you to find one. (Learn more about book inc’s community!) If only Redfern had used a compliment sandwich or provided specific examples for his claim, I would have been more open to his feedback, and learned something valuable about my leadership skills for future hikes!